One day, when I was living in my old apartment, my roommate (who I am no longer friends with- so I don’t feel bad about telling this story) came in and told me about this cute guy that possibly lived in our building. He was apparently very tall (as she was 5’9” and still had to look up to him) and had held the door open for her and smiled at her as she was entering the building. Neither one of us could deny a polite guy 🙂
We concluded that he was probably a school athlete, just because so many people who lived in our building were athletes. So naturally, we stalked down his picture on our school athletic website.
His name was J, and he was a junior basketball player. And he was fine. Light brown skin, over 6 feet tall, and his body… damn. Even I couldn’t deny his sexiness. So she convinced me to contact him on Facebook and talk to him for her. She was extremely shallow in the sense that she only liked black guys, she only liked tall guys, and she only liked guys who were physically active and had great bodies. Even though she didn’t do anything but shop and sit in the apartment. But whatever.
Seeing as I have no shame, I contacted him for her. We found out that we in fact lived in the same building, we just lived on the first floor and he lived on the top floor. I told him what my roommate told me and then described her to him and told him to look her up on Facebook.
No response. He wasn’t interested. Denied. Ouch.
When I was home during Christmas break, I got a message from him. We started talking about Christmas break and spending time with our families. It was friendly, and low pressure. We battled constantly in Words With Friends and talked on occasion.
Another time, I was walking home with my friend and he passed us on his skateboard. Later that night, I told him about it, and he said that he said hello, but I never responded. Yeah, maybe the sound waves didn’t reach me because you’re so damn tall. So I promised him that if I saw him again, I would say hello. He then asked for my number.
We started texting occasionally. I wasn’t trying to get close, I had heard the horror stories of the basketball team and their reputation of just sleeping with girls and not caring. I also heard about the “basketball groupies”, the girls who tried to sleep with the guys on the team as a way to try and date them. I was definitely not that girl and I didn’t want to be involved in a guy like that. Being a sideline ho wasn’t on my to-do list; and he was no exception.
We were pretty friendly, we waved to each other and I gave them cupcakes that I made. We had the obligatory “are we interested in each other?” talk and he told me that he wasn’t looking for anything serious and he would want to have a friends with benefits relationship. I had to think about what I wanted and if I really wanted to head down that path with someone like him. I was a virgin, after all.
Now, I was no prude- but I didn’t want to lose my “innocence” to someone that I didn’t really know or at least respect. But I’m also a strong believer in the “before you date someone, you need to have a test drive” mentality. If I were to sleep with him, I wanted to know more things about him. So I let the issue ride.
After a particularly long conversation with my friends on what direction I should take, it came to the conclusion that I would only sleep with him if I was absolutely sure that I wasn’t going to catch feelings for him and be really sad about not being able to date him. And I was sure that it wouldn’t be the case.
I just really wanted to unwrap that present. 🙂
Long story short, we slept together. And afterwards, it wasn’t awkward. The only difference was that we didn’t cuddle or have pillow talk. I went home, much to his confusion. He wanted to cuddle. He would text me at midnight or 2am asking me to come over (come up…whatever). I didn’t ask for it to happen again, and in a weird move, I almost didn’t want it to. He was a beautiful man with a beautiful, Magnum wearing appendage, but he was lazy. Like wham-bam-slam, 4 positions later- he was done.
We still flirted and partied together, but we never slept together again. I was even surprised at myself. I had somehow managed to sleep with a popular basketball player and still keep my dignity and not be a complete notch on his bedpost. I wasn’t the girl who begged him to change his spots and be in a relationship with me, I didn’t ask him to tie us down. It was a turning point in my dating life- it just now included sex. We both moved on and he ended up moving to Hawaii. I bid him good riddance.
And that was the beginning of my “adult” dating life.