The Disney Boy- The Minefield Chronicles

November 2013

I met a guy named E. Well, that’s not totally true, I didn’t actually meet him. I started talking to him off of that demon spawn “dating” app called Tinder. He was cute; 5’11 and used to play football in high school. His body was nice and he seemed like a sweet guy. He also worked at Disneyland- so who could say no? He works at the happiest place on Earth! We started talking and then we swapped numbers.

He quickly started calling me babes, hun and other pet names. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t deny- it was cute. It had been a while since I had a guy being obnoxiously, sickeningly cute towards me. We started sharing things about each other; nothing too deep or personal, which quickly led to wanting to meet each other. We chose a day and the plan was to meet me after class where we would hang out, watch Don Jon and get to know each other more.

The day (Thursday) quickly came. I didn’t want to, but I started to get excited. He was saying all the right things and not being too annoying. He told me how excited he was to see me.

Thursday came. And went. We never met. There was no text, no phone call. I sent 2 texts that day; one read “So were you still thinking of coming to see me?” and the other said “Guess not.”

He didn’t respond.

When I got home and in my room, my eyes welled up with angry tears. Why did I allow myself to get my expectations up? I was so embarrassed. I thought that I was going to go out on a date with a great guy and he had stood me up. I had told my friends about him and now I would have to go and tell them that nothing came out of it.

We went back and forth about it, and he explained that he was unsure because of the distance between us. We’re just over 30 miles away from each other, and as much as I wanted to be a bitch- I understood his qualms. I was more upset that he just thought that he could just drop off the face of the planet and not talk about it.

Because I’m a horny bitch, we talked about it and I let it go. I’m the easiest girl sometimes, I swear. In retrospect, it really makes me gag on occasion.

So skipping forward- we met finally. He came over late after work and we literally talked for 30 minutes before he carried me to my bed. I didn’t care. Naked time is fun time.

We spent the night together. We woke up at 7:30ish and he got up, saying something about beating traffic to get home. He took a shower and I got ready for work.

That was the last I heard from him. He said something later about me living too far and he wasn’t looking for anything serious. For a second, my ego was a little bruised, but then I realized that I wasn’t that mad. I have no time for little boys.

I told him that the next time that he talks to a girl and all he wants to do is get laid, just tell her and not waste her time.

with love,



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