How to Make your Roommates Hate You

…or at least make them really, really dislike you.

1.Don’t clean up after yourself. This includes dishes, the floor, your room and the bathroom. The more messy, the better. Did you cook dinner for yourself and your boyfriend? That’s fine, feel free to leave your two plates, two sets of eating utensils and all the pots, pans and cooking utensils in the sink. Don’t worry, someone else will clean up after you!

2. Don’t pay bills back in a timely fashion. Hey, who really needs $350+ dollars? It’s cool, we’re all college students. It’s not like we need the money to eat or anything.

3. Give everyone in your dorm/apartment undeserving attitude. Even if they didn’t do anything to you, be rude to them anyway. Punish them for being your friends just because you’re having a bad day. Don’t apologize.

4. Have your significant other over ALL the time. Don’t worry, everyone loves them as much as you do. Bonus points if they sleep over 3 nights in a row and eat a third of the food in the fridge.

5. Be extremely loud during quiet hours. At 2am, we always want to hear you laugh obnoxiously loud to old reruns of Jersey Shore. Or hear you talk about “what you would do if you were ever on the Bad Girls Club”. Or have a really big fight with god-knows-who on the phone at all hours of the night, complete with yelling and slamming doors.

6. When you borrow something, you have two options. Either you can stain it, stretch it out, damage it or return it unwashed, or you can keep it for so long that the original owner has to “borrow” it back.

7. Blow-dry your hair when the sun goes down and all your roommates are sleep. Bonus points if they have a test in the morning.

woo-sa. Breathe deep.

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