I, like many others, am a chronic procrastinator. Why I still continue to do it, I have no idea. Yes, I do good work and it comes out really well and it is well put together- even though I came up with the idea the night before. But during those hours of work, I honestly have no idea how I get anything done. I’m moody and scrambled and I snap very quickly if I get disturbed. I don’t even want to eat, I’m so into my work. And then when it’s done, I feel like I’m crashing.
So in the midst of me typing this, I’m at work. I still need to finish a project for work, clean my apartment, write two birthday cards cards, get birthday gifts, do my last minute laundry, give Mason a bath and eat. As of today (Wednesday), I have another project to start, writing to get done, and a hundred other small tasks that I keep pushing off until tomorrow.
It took me 3 months to even start studying for the GRE. And then it was pulling teeth to continue my study sessions. But that’s another story. I think that indecision is hand in hand with fear. If we take more time, we can make changes. If we have more time, we can make it perfect. But by trying to always be perfect- we start to become afraid to fail.
Why do we put ourselves through that stress? Why do we love to get to that point where we want to either hang ourselves to pull our hair out? Is it the feeling of adrenaline we get when we realize that it’s crunch time? Is our work really better; or does it just seem that way because we rushed to get it done? Are we afraid to fail?